swamped:

beds are dangerous they lead to premarital sex and laziness

amifutami:

what if every time u unzipped your pants it made the skype opening sound effect

(Source: amifutami-remade)

drarna:

before blaming others, think: whats the 1 constant in all your failed relationships? its that cursed egyptian amulet why do u even have that

(Source: neptunain)

budvveiser:

do you think clouds look down on people and think “that ones shaped like an idiot”

miss-doctorwho:

awesomephilia:

I hate how funerals are always at like 9 or 10 AM. I’m not a mourning person.

I feel bad to laugh at that.

(Source: )

rneerkat:

arteries will always hold a special place in my heart

(Source: rneerkat)

Barold & buck are infecting my town :c

Pro tip: don’t run into your ankle with a hand truck.